Hetalia Music
by coin1996
Summary: Just a bunch of song's that will be sung by the Hetalia cast. I own no song's in here and just come up with the odd version's of them. There song by the character's of Hetalia. I also do not own them either. So just Enjoy it's all just for fun. WARNING: Some may be offensive.
1. Everyone's A Little Bit Racist

America: Say, Yao? Can I ask you a question?

China: Sure, aru!

America: Well, you know Leon upstairs?

China: Uh huh.

America: Well, he's Leon Wang and you're Yao Wang.

China: Right, aru.

America: You're both Wang's.

China: Yeah.

America: Are you two related?

China: What?! Alfred, I'm surprised at you, aru! I find that racist.

America: Oh, Well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

China: Well, it's a touchy Subject, aru. No, Not all Wang's are related. What are you trying to say, aru? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh?

America: No, no, no, Not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist.

China: I should say so, aru. You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race, aru.

America: Well, look who's talking!

China: What do you mean, aru?

America: What about that special café you work at?

China: What about it?

America: Could someone like me work there?

China: No, We don't want people like you...

America: *Laugh's* You see?! You're a little bit racist.

China: Well, you're a little bit too.

America: I guess we're both a little bit racist.

China: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

America: But I guess it's true.

China: Between me and you, I think.

America and China: Everyone's a little bit racist sometime's. Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crime's. Look around and you will find no one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact we all should face Every one make's judgment's based on race.

America: Now not big judgment's, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from.

China: No, Aru.

America: No just little judgment's like thinking mexican busboy's should learn to speak goddamn English!

China: Right!

America and China: Everyone's a little bit racist today. So, Everyone's a little bit racist okay! Ethiopic jokes may be uncouth, but you laugh because they're based on truth. Don't take them as personal attack's. Everyone enjoys them. So relax!

America: All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

China: Ok, aru.

America: There's three guy's walking into a bar. There's a Spanish man, A french man...

China: And an English man!

England: What are you talking about China?

China: Uh...

England: You were telling a British joke!

America: Well, sure, Iggy, but lot's of people tell British jokes.

England: I don't.

America: Well, of course you don't. You're British! But I bet you tell French joke's, Right?

England: Well, of course I do. Those stupid French men.

America: Now, don't you think that's a little bit racist?

England: Well, Damn, I guess you're right.

China: You're a little bit racist.

England: Well, you're a little bit too.

America: We're all a little bit racist.

England: I think I would have to agree with you.

America and China: We're glade you do.

England: It's sad but true! Everyone's a little bit racist. All right!

China: All right!

America: All right!

England: All right! Striking has never been exclusively French.

All: If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit, Even though we all know that it's wrong. Maybe it would help us, Get along.

America: Oh, man do I feel good!

England: You mean Christ, Alfred.

America: What?

England: Jesus Christ.

China: No England. He didn't even exist, aru.

England: Yes he did.

China: No he didn't.

England: No. I'm pretty sure he lived.

America: Guy's, Guy's... It really doesn't matter.

All: ... *Laugh's*

Greece: Hey guy's. What are you laughing about?

England: Racism old chap!

Greece: Cool.

Japan: Heracles-san! Come back here. You need to take out lecycuraburs.

America: What's that mean?

Greece: Um. Recyclable.

America, China, and England: *Laugh's*

Greece: Hey, don't laugh at him. How many languages do you speak?

China: Oh come off it Heracles. Everyone's a little bit racist.

Greece: I'm not.

America: Oh no?

Greece: Nope. How many Oriental lover's have you got?

Japan: What! Heracles-san.

America: Heracles, buddy, were you been? The term is Asian-American!

Japan: I know you are no intending to be but calling me Oriental offensive to me.

Greece: I'm sorry, Kiku. I love you.

Japan: And I love you.

Greece: But you're racist, too.

Japan: Yes, I know. The Jew's have all the money, and the white's have all the power. and I'm always in taxi-cab with driver who no shower.

America: Me too!

China: Me too!

England: I can't even get a taxi!

All: Everyone's a little bit racist it's true. But everyone is just about as racist as you! If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit, and everyone stop being so PC. Maybe we could live in... Harmony!

Japan: Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist.

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I do not own Hetalia or the song Everyone's A Little Bit Racist. This was fan made out of boredom. Review! I'll do more song's! You can even ask for song's and I'll try my best to make them be sung by the nation's! Thank you.


	2. If You Were Gay

England: Aah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940's". No nation to bother me. How could it get any better than this?

America: Oh, Hey Iggy!

England: Agh, Hi Alfred.

America: Hey Iggy, You'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me.

England: Awww, Very Interesting.

America: He was being real friendly and I think he was coming on to me. I think he thought I was gay!

England: Ahem, so, uh, Why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't bloody care. What did you have for lunch today?

America: Oh, You don't have to get all defensive about it, Iggy.

England: I'm NOT getting defensive! Why should I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read.

America: Oh, I didn't mean anything by it Iggy. I just think it's something that we should be able to talk about.

England: Well I don't want to talk about it Alfred. This conversation is over!

America: Ya but...

England: OVER!

America: Well, okay, but just so you know. If you were gay. That'd be ok. I mean 'cause hey. Ha! I'd like you anyway.

England: Agh!

America: Because you see. If it were me! I would feel free to say. That I was gay! But I'm not gay.

England: Alfred, Please! I'm trying to read... What!?

America: If you were queer.

England: Awww, Alfred!

America: I'd still be here.

England: Alfred I am trying to read this book.

America: Year after year.

England: Alfred!

America: Because you're dear to me.

England: Argh.

America: And I know that you.

England: What?

America: Would accept me too.

England: I would?

America: If I told you today, "Hey Guess what, I'm gay!" But I'm not gay. I'm happy just being with you.

England: High button shoe's, pal joey...

America: So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys!?

England: Alfred! That's gross!

America: No it's not! If you were gay! I'd shout HOORAY!

England: I am done Listening.

America: And here I'd stay!

England: la la la la la!

America: But I wouldn't get in your way.

England: Aaaah!

America: You can count on me. To aways be! Beside you every day. To tell you it's okay! You were just born that way! And, as they say, it's in your DNA! YOUR GAY!

England: But I'm not GAY!

America: If you were gay.

England: ARGH!

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The song to this one is 'If you were gay' by Avenue Q I hope you enjoyed this one! I own nothing!


	3. Schadenfreude

Romano: Right now you are down and out, and feeling really crappy.

Canada: I'll say.

Romano: And when I see how sad you are, it sorta makes me... Happy!

Canada: Happy!?

Romano: Sorry Mattie, Human nature, nothin I can do! That's Schadenfreude! Make'in me feel glade that I'm not you.

Canada: Well that's not very nice Lovino!

Romano: I didn't say it was nice, but everybody does it! Did you ever clap when a waitress fall's, and drop's a tray of glasses!

Canada: Yeah.

Romano: And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters, fall'in on their asses!

Canada: Sure.

Romano: Don't you feel all warm and cozy, watch'in people out in the rain!

Canada: You bet.

Romano: That's, Schadenfreude! People taking pleasure in your pain.

Canada: Huh. Shah-den-freu-duh. Wh-what's that? Some kind of German word?

Romano: Si. It's German for happiness at the misfortune of other's.

Canada: Happiness in the misfortune of other's... That is German! Watching a vegetarian, being told she just ate chicken, eh!

Romano: Or watching a frat boy realize, just what he put his dick in!

Canada: Or being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"

Both: NO!

Romano: Schadenfreude! Fuck you lady that's what stairs are for!

Canada: Ooh how 'bout straight A students getting B's!

Romano: Ex's getting STD's.

Canada: Waking doormen from their naps!

Romano: Watching tourists reading map's.

Canada: Watching football player's getting tackled!

Romano: CEO's getting shackled!

Canada: Watching actors never reach...

Both: the ending of their oscar speech! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude!

Romano: The world need's people like you and me, who've been kicked around by fate! Cause when people see us they don't want to be us, and that make's them feel great!

Canada: Sure! We provide a vital service, to society, eh!

Both: You and me! Schadenfreude! Makin the world a better place! Makin the world a better place! Makin the world a better place! To be!

Romano: S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!

Both: *Laugh's*

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Well then... XD I hope you guy's like this chapter! XD Song is Schadenfreude by avenue Q. XD Review.


	4. The Stereotypes Song

Prussia: I've always thought stereotypes were kinda ridiculous, So I wrote a song about it and it goes a little something like this... I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn!

Japan: *Hide's bright red face.*

Prussia: And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes! Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl, And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.

Every one: *Look's to Prussia is odd look's.*

Prussia: I love those fat Americans.

America: *Look's up well a burger is in his mouth.*

Prussia: You know they're so obnoxious. They're always eating burgers. They're always holding shotguns.

America: That is so not true!

Prussia: And I love Mexicans. The way they mow my lawn. They all got 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on.

America: BURN!

Prussia: Uh huh. 'Cause that's the way they role. You've got to go big like an Israeli nose. If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy,

Ireland: *Glare's at Prussia.*

Prussia: they're Out of control like a Chinese driver.

China: Aru!

Prussia: I love the Middle East, but how do they handle Rockin' burkas while they're riding camels.

Egypt: *Get's up well holding a knife.*

Prussia: I love Jamaicans. Yeah, they're cool, but They're always high, so don't let them fool ya. And I love them Puerto Ricans, Even though they wash their ass about once a weekend. I'm just joking. If you didn't know then You're a little slow and you're probably from Poland!

Poland: Like what! *Stand's up and glare's at Prussia.*

Prussia: I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn!

Japan: *Hide's under table.*

Prussia: And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes. Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl, And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes. Aw yeah! Let me hear you yell If you love the outback redneck Australians!

Australia: *Blink's kind of confused as his Snake hisses at Prussia.*

England: *Start's to chuckle.*

Prussia: And the crooked teeth of an English dude!

England: *Glare's.*

Prussia: Or those creepy Italians who think they're smooth.

Romano: HEY!

Italy: Ve?

Prussia: And how could anyone hate the French.

France: *Smile's.*

Prussia: Yeah, I know their hairy women don't shave their pits.

France: Mon dieu!

Prussia: Brazilian girls is what you want, Walking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk!

Everyone: *Nod's.*

Prussia: I love Africans, but hold up a second.  
National Geographic says they're all butt-naked. Breasts hanging low. What have they done with their clothes. They've disappeared like coke up a Colombians nose Uh oh! They're all on my checklist! Even Russian guys who drink vodka for breakfast!

Russia: *Look's up with creepy smile.*

Prussia: They're stereotypes, and if you believe them, Then your brain is small like a Korean's penis!

South Korea: What! That is not true Da-ze!

Prussia: I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn!

Japan: *No longer in the room.*

Prussia: And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes. Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl, And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.

Germany: *Sigh's.*

Prussia: I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.

Scotland: What?

Prussia: I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.

Scotland: Ye didn't.

Prussia: I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.

Scotland: I'll kill ye.

Prussia: I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.

Scotland: *Stand's up.*

Prussia: I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.

Scotland: Ye better shut up lad.

Prussia: I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.

Scotland: *Glare's*

Prussia: I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.

Scotland: Ye did it!

Prussia: I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.

Scotland: *Start's to walk over to Prussia. Well Prussia run's the other way.*

Prussia: I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn!

Japan: *No where in sight.*

Prussia: And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes. Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl, And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes. Ya!

Everyone: *Glare's.*

Prussia: I'm just playing, you know I love you guys. But seriously, don't hump any sheep...

Scotland: That's it! *Punch's Prussia out.*

England: Thank goodness. Now we might get something done.

America: Hey? Scotland do you really hump sheep?

Scotland: Damn it!

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Well then I hope you liked this one guy's! Requested by** Sarah I LOVE ENGLAND Fanfics! **It was really fun to do this one! XD Poor Prussia. Well the review! If you want to see a song request it in a review! I might do it!

Song: The Stereotypes Song.

by: Your Favorite Martian

I own nothing but I did write this! XD


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